Just Keep Swimming!

Nope I haven't disappeared into internet land in shame and embarrassment over my difficulties losing weight.  I know this is a daily struggle and I'm okay with that.  I still haven't gotten my scale because I haven't made my way to the store yet.

I saw an editorial in Glamour magazine with a NORMAL sized girl in it and it was inspiring.  She wasn't stick thin and I guess in the model world she's considered plus sized but she couldn't have been any more than a size 8 or 10.  She wasn't skinny.  She just looked good and healthy!  That's my inspiration.  I want to look healthy like her.  I guess I have to keep pushing.

Oh and I think it's funny that Dr. Oz is now talking about sugar addiction, something that I thought was a novel idea and had personally created (clearly it wasn't so novel) even going as far as calling myself "candy sober" when I stopped eating candy.  I'm happy the world knows about it because I'm pretty sure it's something that goes on in your brain.  I even tried to become candy sober again and something in my head won't let me.  I always try to rationalize that I can just eat it in moderation but as I've reiterated over and OVER again, that just doesn't work for me.  I guess I'm subconsciously stubborn in that regard.  That's my new thing--becoming candy sober again.

I'll try to be more consistent with my posting but I'll be honest--on those bad days, I just don't feel like getting on the net and proclaiming to the world that I didn't eat like I should have.  I guess that's normal but that's not fair to myself.  Weight loss comes with good and bad moments and I can't just ignore the bad.

I have to go because I'm posting this VERY late at night and I need to get up early =(

TTYL,
Elizabeth

Something Needs to Change

And it needs to happen fast!  On my walk to gym, I started to think about my battle with the scale and how it's consumed me.  I think about weight loss a LOT yet it doesn't seem to affect the way that I eat enough for me to lose weight.  There's a disconnect somewhere and I've decided that maybe it's my approach that's off.  I think I might change my goals in this process.  I really and truly want to lose the 75 pounds.  There are no questions about that.  I think I would feel better, I feel like I would be more confident and I feel like shopping for clothes would no longer be a chore but be exciting.  I'm a size16 and when you can't fit the 16 in the store, it's not like you can go up a size.  Some stores don't even carry 16's.  If I was a size 8 or 10, I could easily go up a size, or two even, if there was a discrepancy between sizes and stores!

But what I'm doing isn't working.  I've been working out more often.  I'm letting go of my tight grip on candy (although not always successfully).  I'm drinking more water.  I'm trying.  I need to go back to food journaling and worry about being healthy.  At this rate, it is NOT working out and the few pounds I have shed, seemed to have crept up on me when I started to get lax with my behavior.

I worked my tush off at the gym today and I'm going to the grocery store today too to get more veggies and less carbs.  I don't think I'm even going to buy bread.

Is 75 pounds still my goal?  Yeah sure it is!  But I'm not going to put a years time on it to happen.  I think I'm going to make 52 pounds my goal.  HEALTHY weight loss at a pound a week and the extra can come off later.  I won't beat myself up either if for some reason I don't get a pound off one week.  I tend to be my own worse enemy when it comes to guilt.  Also I'm starting over with the weight loss.  I'm tired of my rinky-dink scale so I'm buying a new one today and I will re-weigh myself tomorrow morning with maybe even a new starting weight.

This is a journey that is taking a lot more motivation this time around for some reason.  I have to keep trying though. 

Good luck to anyone else that's working on their weight loss endeavors!

Elizabeth

Not So Bad.....

Well minus the chocolate I semi-binged on when I got back from work today I did really well! lol For breakfast I had a 100 calorie can of peaches and cheerios with soy milk. Then, I ate fruit, veggies and a small serving of some veggie type lasagna or casserole. Needless to say, I was pretty much starving right after I ate lunch.

I wanted to continue with the good eating habits and got a chicken blt salad from Wendy's for dinner which is about 500 calories (clearly I didn't dump that 400 calorie salad dressing on top but used my non-fat italien dressing instead). THEN *DUN DUN DUN* I ate a lot of what was left of the chocolate I bought yesterday. I know I should just dump it in the trash. You know what... I just dumped the rest. That's several hundred less calories I can sabotage myself with tomorrow.

Due to intense guilt, I hustled at the gym burning 500 calories yesterday (still didn't stop me from eating the chocolate today!) and then burned another 300 calories today. Does going to the gym make up for the chocolate??? I'm going to give you a big fat "NO!" in reply to that but it makes me feel a whole lot better :) . And now that I've trashed the rest of that junk food, I have no excuses for tomorrow. I REALLY need to go to the grocery and buy some healthier food options.

I need to get sexy for my golden birthday in 6 weeks! Here's to some motivation lol 6 pounds in the next 6 weeks! I will get to 205 by my birthday. Let's get it! :D

Love and more motivation than I can seem to muster for myself,
Elizabeth

Well it's the truth!

I'm going to be totally honest and upfront... mainly with myself!  The reason I haven't been posting as often as before is because I'm not doing well on my diet *ahem* lifestyle change.  It's sad and embarrassing and I wanted to post something once I got back on track.  I could use the excuse of the Mardi Gras holidays but I'm not.  The reason why is because I'm tired of giving myself excuses.  I eat too much trash food, period.  It sucks.  I thought I was going to give up all this junk-food but I just couldn't bring myself too.  I failed so quickly too.  It's awful!  I can't just eat all the junk I want and pretend like going to the gym is going to solve this problem. 

I'm not giving up on myself though.  I will continue on this journey to make myself the best possible from the inside out.  What can I do to help myself?  I need to pray.  I need to drink more water.  I need to take my multivitamin.  And last but not least I need to make sure I make it to the gym.  I don't have problems going to the gym but the time is the issue.

Have I gained any weight back?  Goodness I hope not!  I don't want to weigh myself just yet.  As far as I know (as of Friday I think) I still weigh 211.  If I do well for the rest of the week, I'll weigh myself Sunday morning and let you know!  Eeek!  Let's hope this works out!

Holla!
Elizabeth

Alrighty Then!

Sooo... hehe I've been doing *okay* with the changes.  I currently weigh 211 pounds!  That's an average of about a pound a week and I just hope and pray that I can keep it coming off.  That's 52 pounds in a year at this rate and let me tell you--that works for me!  I've been trying to increase my salad intake.  I was doing really well with my water intake but recently I haven't been focusing on that.  I should pay more attention to those things but when I get really busy, there are only so many things I can keep my mind on at once.  I also haven't been to the gym too much because I've been so tired when I get off work, but I will make more of an effort to work on that.  Maybe I was taking on too much at once and should have tried simple steps but I am happy I attempted to be pretty aggressive.

And sadly, that whole no sweets thing went out of the window with the Saints going to the Superbowl!  I'm going to give this moderation thing one more chance lol  Don't be too mad at me lol

Love,
Elizabeth

Not So Hot!

When I started this whole journey, I was so optimistic!  But I must say that by doing this, I have recognized serious flaws in my eating habits!  I can be doing WONDERFULLY until I get home from work and then borderline binge afterwards.  Or like I did today, I splurged on a caloric dessert and ate too much of it.  Yes I understand the question that must follow: If you know you're that tempted, why buy the foods that give you so many problems?  If I knew the answer to that question, I wouldn't be working on this blog right now.  My weight would NOT be an issue.  I would be 140 pounds let alone 145!  It's an impulse.  I buy it because I want it with little thought of how I'll feel after.  All I can think about is how much I'm going to enjoy eating whatever it is I purchased.

Ya know, I was candy sober for 9 months because I realized that I had no control over my candy eating habits.  That was a BIG deal.  I mean BIG.  I was a candy addict.  I went at LEAST 4 times a week to Walgreens to find a treat for myself.  There were times where I felt like the workers there knew me.  Maybe not my name, but definitely my face!

What should I do?  Maybe I should save treats for parties or special events and just cut them out completely from my everyday, run of the mill day.  Yeah I know I said you can eat anything you want in moderation, and I still stand by that, but I personally cannot.  I can't do sweets in moderation.  That just doesn't work.  I need to give them up all together.  I didn't want it to come to this but after figuring out my weak points each day, it always ends up with me overdoing sweets and/or desserts.

I'm proclaiming it now: This is the last day I'm going to eat desserts/candy unless I'm at somebody's birthday or Christmas party.  Weird that I threw in the birthday party and Christmas parties, but I just don't want to be the weird one that refuses a slice of cake at a birthday party or passes on the pie at Christmas.  It's Christmas for Pete's sake!

Done.

We'll see how this works :D

Elizabeth

Wowzers!

I feel like I've missed 7 days of posting when really I only missed one!  I think it's because I just started working pretty intensely for school and time seems to be whizzing by. 

Anyway... I'm doing OKAY right now with my eating.  A friend of mine told me I looked smaller which was really nice of her!  I'm not sure yet though.  I need to see it out the scale to be certain.  I'm not checking myself again until this coming Monday.

I ate some frosted shredded wheat for breakfast with soy milk.  I had a turkey sandwich on wheat with Sun Chips for lunch, 2 granola bars, coffee and then I ended the day with a Lemon Chicken Lean Cuisine (which was disappointing by the way), another granola bar, 3 mandarins, more cereal, a piece of cheese and some Valentine's Day hearts lol

Are you noticing a trend?  I think I am! lol  I borderline binged tonight.  Mind you the amount of calories in that binge probably wasn't *THAT* bad I just went berzerk!  If I could cut out those hearts and either the granola bar or extra cereal that would have been a pretty good day.

Why do I do that too myself?? I'm going to go ahead and say it's stress considering this all happens post 7pm.  That's going to be my goal now.  Making sure not do overdo it at night.

Okie dokie, I'm out!
Elizabeth

Yeah Okay!

Uhhh what's that about?

I weighed myself today and somehow I gained 2 lbs over the weekend.  I'm pretty sure I know the reason why but I'm not going into it.  I didn't want to say how much I weighed Friday, as to not jinx it, but I might as well now--I weighed 211!  Which means last week I lost another 2 lbs! YAY!  Then this weekend after just a smidge of over-eating on ONE day, I gain 2 lbs.  I hate to play the water weight card but I think it applies right now lol  What I ate Saturday was not that extraordinary for that kind of gain!

Anyway, I went to the gym today because I can no longer say that there isn't a gym close to me.  Now there's one within walking distance lol  So I went and I stayed on the elliptical for about 30 minutes.  Feels good!  Then I highly enjoyed a chicken fettuccini Lean Cuisine that was delightful! lol

I guess a goal of the blog was to talk about the highs and the lows and today was definitely a low.  I will lose this weight though!  I can do this!!!

Elizabeth