How Things Have Changed!

Soooo surprise, surprise I'm back on my blog!  Even I didn't see that happening.  But I come bearing good news :)  I joined Weight Watchers after seeing how successful my best friend was doing with it and being inspired by Jennifer Hudson.  J-Hud just seems like a regular woman to me, so that on top of the BFF's success made the decision clear.  I started back in February and I LOVE the program.  It's really helped me clarify where I go wrong with my food choices and makes me "accountable" for my decisions.  I put "accountable" in quotes because that's a big word in any WW meeting.  It's so true though.  You can't put the blame anybody for your success or lack thereof but yourself.  When I got weighed at my first meeting in February I was 219.8 but I'm now 194.4 (or some other decimal lol).  Over 25 lbs (5- 5lb bags of sugar) that I'm no longer lugging around on my body and 25 lbs closer to being the healthy gal that I've always wanted to be.  Just to be clear, I was in the 190's in high school so I've come a long way!  It's been a struggle though with unwanted fluctuations but that's life.  Unfortunately, I'm not a machine and I can't guarantee that I'm going to make the best food choices when I go to a restaurant but I can do my best.So what's the difference between the first time I started working on this blog and now?  The support.  Weight Watchers works (and no I'm not being paid by them lol) and going to the meetings and seeing so many people struggling with the same problems I have makes a big difference.  You can feel very isolated when you're overweight (or obese if we're going by BMI) and you're trying to lose weight so I think I've found a place where I can thrive.  Do I lose weight every week?  No.  Do I lose weight most weeks?  Yes.  And that's a lot better than I could say before.And the journey continues :) 

WOOOOOOW

OMG!!  Have you ever seen a picture of yourself and been like "DAAAAAAAMN, do I really look that bad in real life??"  It's usually those pictures that are candid and you can't control what you look like when you're saying things but O.M.G.  I looked freaking swollen and just bad.  Enough to make me want to starve myself *NOT* that I would ever do that.   But dang it if I had a true skinny bone in my body I think I would!  It's usually pics like that that scare me into losing weight.  UGH.  It's that time of the month and everything but DAAAAAAMN.  I'll figure this out.  I guess...

Onward and Upward!

Just Keep Swimming!

Nope I haven't disappeared into internet land in shame and embarrassment over my difficulties losing weight.  I know this is a daily struggle and I'm okay with that.  I still haven't gotten my scale because I haven't made my way to the store yet.

I saw an editorial in Glamour magazine with a NORMAL sized girl in it and it was inspiring.  She wasn't stick thin and I guess in the model world she's considered plus sized but she couldn't have been any more than a size 8 or 10.  She wasn't skinny.  She just looked good and healthy!  That's my inspiration.  I want to look healthy like her.  I guess I have to keep pushing.

Oh and I think it's funny that Dr. Oz is now talking about sugar addiction, something that I thought was a novel idea and had personally created (clearly it wasn't so novel) even going as far as calling myself "candy sober" when I stopped eating candy.  I'm happy the world knows about it because I'm pretty sure it's something that goes on in your brain.  I even tried to become candy sober again and something in my head won't let me.  I always try to rationalize that I can just eat it in moderation but as I've reiterated over and OVER again, that just doesn't work for me.  I guess I'm subconsciously stubborn in that regard.  That's my new thing--becoming candy sober again.

I'll try to be more consistent with my posting but I'll be honest--on those bad days, I just don't feel like getting on the net and proclaiming to the world that I didn't eat like I should have.  I guess that's normal but that's not fair to myself.  Weight loss comes with good and bad moments and I can't just ignore the bad.

I have to go because I'm posting this VERY late at night and I need to get up early =(

TTYL,
Elizabeth

Something Needs to Change

And it needs to happen fast!  On my walk to gym, I started to think about my battle with the scale and how it's consumed me.  I think about weight loss a LOT yet it doesn't seem to affect the way that I eat enough for me to lose weight.  There's a disconnect somewhere and I've decided that maybe it's my approach that's off.  I think I might change my goals in this process.  I really and truly want to lose the 75 pounds.  There are no questions about that.  I think I would feel better, I feel like I would be more confident and I feel like shopping for clothes would no longer be a chore but be exciting.  I'm a size16 and when you can't fit the 16 in the store, it's not like you can go up a size.  Some stores don't even carry 16's.  If I was a size 8 or 10, I could easily go up a size, or two even, if there was a discrepancy between sizes and stores!

But what I'm doing isn't working.  I've been working out more often.  I'm letting go of my tight grip on candy (although not always successfully).  I'm drinking more water.  I'm trying.  I need to go back to food journaling and worry about being healthy.  At this rate, it is NOT working out and the few pounds I have shed, seemed to have crept up on me when I started to get lax with my behavior.

I worked my tush off at the gym today and I'm going to the grocery store today too to get more veggies and less carbs.  I don't think I'm even going to buy bread.

Is 75 pounds still my goal?  Yeah sure it is!  But I'm not going to put a years time on it to happen.  I think I'm going to make 52 pounds my goal.  HEALTHY weight loss at a pound a week and the extra can come off later.  I won't beat myself up either if for some reason I don't get a pound off one week.  I tend to be my own worse enemy when it comes to guilt.  Also I'm starting over with the weight loss.  I'm tired of my rinky-dink scale so I'm buying a new one today and I will re-weigh myself tomorrow morning with maybe even a new starting weight.

This is a journey that is taking a lot more motivation this time around for some reason.  I have to keep trying though. 

Good luck to anyone else that's working on their weight loss endeavors!

Elizabeth

Not So Bad.....

Well minus the chocolate I semi-binged on when I got back from work today I did really well! lol For breakfast I had a 100 calorie can of peaches and cheerios with soy milk. Then, I ate fruit, veggies and a small serving of some veggie type lasagna or casserole. Needless to say, I was pretty much starving right after I ate lunch.

I wanted to continue with the good eating habits and got a chicken blt salad from Wendy's for dinner which is about 500 calories (clearly I didn't dump that 400 calorie salad dressing on top but used my non-fat italien dressing instead). THEN *DUN DUN DUN* I ate a lot of what was left of the chocolate I bought yesterday. I know I should just dump it in the trash. You know what... I just dumped the rest. That's several hundred less calories I can sabotage myself with tomorrow.

Due to intense guilt, I hustled at the gym burning 500 calories yesterday (still didn't stop me from eating the chocolate today!) and then burned another 300 calories today. Does going to the gym make up for the chocolate??? I'm going to give you a big fat "NO!" in reply to that but it makes me feel a whole lot better :) . And now that I've trashed the rest of that junk food, I have no excuses for tomorrow. I REALLY need to go to the grocery and buy some healthier food options.

I need to get sexy for my golden birthday in 6 weeks! Here's to some motivation lol 6 pounds in the next 6 weeks! I will get to 205 by my birthday. Let's get it! :D

Love and more motivation than I can seem to muster for myself,
Elizabeth

Well it's the truth!

I'm going to be totally honest and upfront... mainly with myself!  The reason I haven't been posting as often as before is because I'm not doing well on my diet *ahem* lifestyle change.  It's sad and embarrassing and I wanted to post something once I got back on track.  I could use the excuse of the Mardi Gras holidays but I'm not.  The reason why is because I'm tired of giving myself excuses.  I eat too much trash food, period.  It sucks.  I thought I was going to give up all this junk-food but I just couldn't bring myself too.  I failed so quickly too.  It's awful!  I can't just eat all the junk I want and pretend like going to the gym is going to solve this problem. 

I'm not giving up on myself though.  I will continue on this journey to make myself the best possible from the inside out.  What can I do to help myself?  I need to pray.  I need to drink more water.  I need to take my multivitamin.  And last but not least I need to make sure I make it to the gym.  I don't have problems going to the gym but the time is the issue.

Have I gained any weight back?  Goodness I hope not!  I don't want to weigh myself just yet.  As far as I know (as of Friday I think) I still weigh 211.  If I do well for the rest of the week, I'll weigh myself Sunday morning and let you know!  Eeek!  Let's hope this works out!

Holla!
Elizabeth

Alrighty Then!

Sooo... hehe I've been doing *okay* with the changes.  I currently weigh 211 pounds!  That's an average of about a pound a week and I just hope and pray that I can keep it coming off.  That's 52 pounds in a year at this rate and let me tell you--that works for me!  I've been trying to increase my salad intake.  I was doing really well with my water intake but recently I haven't been focusing on that.  I should pay more attention to those things but when I get really busy, there are only so many things I can keep my mind on at once.  I also haven't been to the gym too much because I've been so tired when I get off work, but I will make more of an effort to work on that.  Maybe I was taking on too much at once and should have tried simple steps but I am happy I attempted to be pretty aggressive.

And sadly, that whole no sweets thing went out of the window with the Saints going to the Superbowl!  I'm going to give this moderation thing one more chance lol  Don't be too mad at me lol

Love,
Elizabeth